Thank you so much for the thoughtful gift, no one has ever given me a cock that squirts hot syrup when you pump it up and down. My hand will certainly be giving it a job every morning when I wake up stiff and ready to slather warm butter on some steaming buns. Every morning when I come in the kitchen, I will pump this cock and think of you.
Thanks for the syrup dispenser. I'm not really a Carolina fan, but thanks. At least it's not a book. I hate to read. Or a fish scaler. What the Hell is that? I don't fish. Anyway, I really, really tolerate it. Where'd you get it, anyway (and do you still have the receipt? No reason. Just askin')?
Thanks for the syrup dispenser. I'm not really a Carolina fan, but thanks. At least it's not a book. I hate to read. Or a fish scaler. What the Hell is that? I don't fish. Anyway, I really, really tolerate it. Where'd you get it, anyway (and do you still have the receipt? No reason. Just askin')?
Hey thanks for the Rooster, it's sweet. I accidently dropped it, and inadvertantly stepped on it, and I kicked it out the window as I went to pick it up.
Surprisingly, it's fine. I guess "You can't kill the Rooster!"
Love, David Sedaris
ps: I'm glad you got over that whole, "Mom loves my dad, your brother, more" thing. While I understand it(in your case anyway), it's not nice to play favorites. Thanks again, and cockadoodledoo!
Now Arlene, Chase's was good, but not suddle, let's see if the Prof weighs in before we just start throwing first watch taters around. Also, that David guy was pretty good with the whole one-legged chicken thing. Let's give it a day or two.
Hey hey, we can't expect the Prof to be spending too much time near a computer. He's got to ease back in to it, I mean it's a hard case coming back from 9 months of vacation, I feel for the guy.
Chase already gave us a mouthfull about the cock. I was so choked up after reading his missive that I could just spit. I had an absolute ball trying to come up with something as good, but alas I couldn't think of anything that was nearly as tongue-in-cheek. So you're all just going to have to swallow the fact that Chase really put his head into this and clearly has better genetics in his mouth.
Sorry it took me so long to finish this, but I was a bit nervous and I had too much to drink.
Of course, I've had others but this one is the best. From the first time I grabbed it and gave it a squeeze, it has produced the most luxourious creamy discharge. It feels so good in my hands and on my face that I just can't stop using it.
Can you please tell me where it from and if there are others like it?
Winner gets a First Watch Gift card or I-tunes download.
Sounds like a good assignment for Chase, The Prof or Roger...
ReplyDeleteOR Super D - maybe he received the same gift on his birthday and has already written his thank you note.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletesorry, typo in the first one ...
ReplyDeleteDear Aunt Grace,
Thank you so much for the thoughtful gift, no one has ever given me a cock that squirts hot syrup when you pump it up and down. My hand will certainly be giving it a job every morning when I wake up stiff and ready to slather warm butter on some steaming buns. Every morning when I come in the kitchen, I will pump this cock and think of you.
Love,
Andy
How about this:
ReplyDeleteAG
WTF?
AM
Gotta love the brevity.
GatorFan
I'm certain it's a soap dispenser, to dispense frothy, aromatic soaps that I can rub across my glistening, hard body.
ReplyDelete-- Dean Karnazes
Dear Aunt Grace-
ReplyDeleteThanks for the syrup dispenser. I'm not really a Carolina fan, but thanks. At least it's not a book. I hate to read. Or a fish scaler. What the Hell is that? I don't fish. Anyway, I really, really tolerate it. Where'd you get it, anyway (and do you still have the receipt? No reason. Just askin')?
Cordially,
AndyMan
Dear Aunt Grace-
ReplyDeleteThanks for the syrup dispenser. I'm not really a Carolina fan, but thanks. At least it's not a book. I hate to read. Or a fish scaler. What the Hell is that? I don't fish. Anyway, I really, really tolerate it. Where'd you get it, anyway (and do you still have the receipt? No reason. Just askin')?
Cordially,
AndyMan
I think a fish scaler is what you weigh fish on.
ReplyDeleteThere is a Dean Karnazes imposter on this site. The REAL Dean only uses one hyphen before signing his name!!!
ReplyDelete-Dean Karnazes
Dear Aunt Bea,
ReplyDeleteHey thanks for the Rooster, it's sweet. I accidently dropped it, and inadvertantly stepped on it, and I kicked it out the window as I went to pick it up.
Surprisingly, it's fine. I guess "You can't kill the Rooster!"
Love,
David Sedaris
ps: I'm glad you got over that whole, "Mom loves my dad, your brother, more" thing. While I understand it(in your case anyway), it's not nice to play favorites. Thanks again, and cockadoodledoo!
Chase wins....I can't BEAT that!
ReplyDeleteNow Arlene,
ReplyDeleteChase's was good, but not suddle, let's see if the Prof weighs in before we just start throwing first watch taters around. Also, that David guy was pretty good with the whole one-legged chicken thing. Let's give it a day or two.
AMan
Where IS the Prof? We've been waiting.
ReplyDeleteHey hey, we can't expect the Prof to be spending too much time near a computer. He's got to ease back in to it, I mean it's a hard case coming back from 9 months of vacation, I feel for the guy.
ReplyDeleteChase already gave us a mouthfull about the cock. I was so choked up after reading his missive that I could just spit. I had an absolute ball trying to come up with something as good, but alas I couldn't think of anything that was nearly as tongue-in-cheek. So you're all just going to have to swallow the fact that Chase really put his head into this and clearly has better genetics in his mouth.
ReplyDeleteSorry it took me so long to finish this, but I was a bit nervous and I had too much to drink.
Dear Auntie Grace,
ReplyDeleteHow did you know I wanted a cock for my Birthday?
Of course, I've had others but this one is the best. From the first time I grabbed it and gave it a squeeze, it has produced the most luxourious creamy discharge. It feels so good in my hands and on my face that I just can't stop using it.
Can you please tell me where it from and if there are others like it?
With all the love that I have left.
Andy
Hey, Chase is good but I had to try...
ReplyDeleteLooking more and more like Gator Fan's brevity will be winning the prize!
ReplyDeleteYou'd think I'd learn, regardless, yall are flat cracking me up (oh, jeez, did I just give you more ammo!)
Aint it funny how it's the posts you aren't expceting that get the most play (oh, no, more fodder)
Out!