Tuesday, September 25, 2007

You Don't Suck! Ha, Gotcha!

You know what really sucks? When the dude, team, state, family, school, that you hate doesn't even have the decency to hate you back.

Example, in the 1980's ask a Seminole fan, who do you hate? Gators suck!

Ask a Gator fan same question: Bulldogs suck!

Of course, now that the Seminoles own the team that owns Ohio State, the Gators hate the Noles pretty good, that must feel better.

It's nice to be hated. Ask an Alabama fan: Auburn Sucks!

Ask an Auburn Fan and they'll tell you true,: Alabama Sucks!
(Roll Tide Roll, Around the bowl and down the hole, Roll Tide Roll!)

The most excellent Race director (who shall remain unnamed by me) of the Arkansas Traveller 100 has a great habit of relaying her opinion on Texas when the state raises it's horns, Texas Sucks. Alas, when I relayed this tidbit, this morsel, this grain of enlightenment to one of my great Texas friends, all she could say was, the only thing that keeps Texas from falling into the Gulf is that Oklahoma Sucks.

Poor Arkansas :( I'm sure there will be about 125 of us hating them pretty good in less than two weeks when we are going up and over Smith Mountain for the second time, sadly, we won't hate them for long.


Chase Squires said...

I've hated Furman all my life, and that ain't long enough.

Andy Mathews said...

Furman? What's a Red Sox fan doing hating on some tiny little SC school who, unless I'm mistaken, doesn't even have a Mascot?

Chase Squires said...

While I'm sure that if they did play, the hated Purple Paladins of Furman would actually sweep the Sox in a four-game series in October, it's my allegiance to the mighty Citadel Bulldogs that spawns my loathing.

(oooh, good name for a rock band, "Spawns My Loathing," .... first album "Purple Paladin" ...)

Andy Mathews said...

I actually knew that Furman was the Paladins, and I of course knew that you were a Bulldog. But with my allegiance to The College of Charleston Southern A&T A&M Tech I didn't want to give any more attention to the 'del

Rebekx said...

Go Strayer Graduates!!

Chase Squires said...

... "And the mighty Strayer Graduates have taken, the ... ummm ... "virtual" stage ... ah, can anything rival the pomp and ceremony of an online graduation?


(later, at the virtual homecoming, Strayer defeats the University of Phoenix in Madden '07 football in head-to-head online competition)

Don't forget to print out your diplomas.

Andy Mathews said...

Again, Strayer v P.U. or is it Pee Ewe or is it U.P. It really doesn't matter, I don't care who you are that's funny! Chase, the world doesn't need another crappy lawyer, but they need great writers! Food for thought.

superdave524 said...

Former Leto Falcon John Zemina played for the Paladins. AndyMan's godson actually played for the South Region division III rugby championship in Greenville two years ago. Sewanee beat Furman and some other school whose name I forget at the moment, but lost to the Citadel in the South Region Championship game by two points. That oughta make Chase feel a little better. Sadly, the Sewanee Purple Mountain Tigers (a very specialized breed, similar to the War Eagle Tigers) didn't fare so well last year.

As a Seminole fan, I'll paraphrase Rick in Casablanca, "We'll always have the 90's".

Andy Mathews said...

Hey, I reckon them Gator Fans know when they are owned. Auburn hasn't ever lost to them, that I amember, and they've beaten FSU like 4 times since God was a boy. Pretty soon Roger, Steve, and the G'Nation will be waxing about the good old days under Ron Zook.

superdave524 said...

Hey, Steve, I can't believe you're letting AndyMan say all those (true) things about your Gators. Sometimes silence is an admission.

Andy Mathews said...

I already taunted Steve and Roger. They are both pining for the Galen Hall era!

superdave524 said...

Myers? Isn't that the name of the "don't taze me, bro" u-tube dude? Was that the coach's son?

Roger Sutton said...

I thought I could just let the jealous rantings run their course and by morning we'd be back to lying about our ability to cover long distances without the aid of Detroit muscle.

But...this unprovoked attack upon the mighty Gator Nation cannot be ignored! Andy, shame on you for sending me a separate email as a kicker!

The yet undefeated and reigning National Champions are hated by many for the simple reason that no one likes an ass kicking. While most of the illustious schools mentioned by "In the Slam" readers would have trouble beating Florida's BAND in football (or basketball), I have to respond directly to the mis-information spewed forth by Andy regarding Auburn.

For the record, since 1990 Florida and Auburn have played 14 times. Florida has won 10 of those games with 3 point losses in '93, '94 and '01. Last years loss can be discounted since the Gators went on to win the National Championship. During that 14 game stretch the Gators outscored Auburn by a combined tally of 459-265. Although it is not an annual game, Florida has beaten Auburn a total of 38 times since the first meeting in 1912.

Now, back to the lies about running.

In 1967, at the age of 5 years and 2 months, I ran the mile in 4:54


purplekayaker said...

GO GAMECOCKS!!!!! All chicken. 100 percent organically grown, 100 percent natural! No apologies! No wishy-washiness here!

And go DAWGS! Sick 'em! Woof, woof, woof!

Well ... mixed loyalties and wishy-washiness aren't the same thing! Are they?

Andy Mathews said...

Ok Roger, that's what I'm looking for! The Auburn loss can be discounted? Yeah, obviously it was, but if you beat the National Champs, aren't you the National Champs? He shoots, he scores! Auburn wins the Nat. Championship.

As for the Gamecocks, hey no reason to get upset about them, but all natural? Lemme trow out a name for you.. Tony Caulklin. He was the first NCAA player to admit to using steroids. But, shoot, since they haven't won more than three games in any season even with the old Ballcoach.

Georgia, why they haven't won the SEC since the days of Buck Baloo. He's now a spokesman for Depends. So, it's been a while.

You guys know I'm just kidding right? Paladins all the way!!!!

superdave524 said...

Sutton = Bannister, right? Just putting that FSU edumucation to work there.

Andy Mathews said...

Roger Sutton ran track for the Gators in the 80's. Great guy. lightening fast, big Gator Fan though, hey we all have our faults. Alan Bannister on the other hand, well, he never ran track.

GatorFan said...

It's GREAT ... to be ... a FLORIDA GATOR!!!!!!!!!! Back to Back to Back! That hasn't been done since ... oh wait, that had never been done til now.

I have a hard time gettin real fired up about Auburn cuz I just can't stand whippin the alma mater of such a good bud on a regular basis. Plus, I still think Auburn got jobbed a few years ago when they didn't get the nod to play in the National Championship game after having an undefeated season and taking care of business in the SEC, the single most powerful football conference GOD ever assembled.

I try not to thump my chest too hard cuz (a) it hurts to thump your chest when you got a chest that looks like mine, and (b) I still remember all the jokes back in the day that Florida State would win the SEC before Florida would, and it seemed pretty true at the time.

I'll enjoy it while it lasts but I sure hope we're not just a phone call from Malcolm Glazer away from hoping to land Charlie Weiss once he gets fired from the Irish.

Andy Mathews said...

Ok, Steve, Take a page from Roger's book. You guys are the National Champs, you gotta taunt. You gotta thump, you definately don't have to take any guff from Free Shoes fans. And Auburn, well, they say the best thing to ever come out of Auburn is Hwy 280!

See, I can say that 'cause I only got one of my degrees from Auburn (I was driving slowly and my window was down, well, you know the rest of the story) And my other degree is from South Florida (which is no where near South Florida, I guess our congressmen don't own globes) and they are a lot closer to the sugar bowl than Auburn is!

superdave524 said...

I missed the game. Who won that Fla/Auburn game?

Davo said...

AndyMan- Thanks for the run last night. You rock 7:04 last mile!

There now I am an official contributor...