Thursday, January 31, 2008

Mine's Bigger!

I swear I just wanted to tell the two of the to drop trou and show me, cause I wasn't believing any of it.
Here we were before we're about to take off on the weekly run with the Tampa Bay Runners, and two of my oldest running friends are into comparisons. I'm only 1/2 listening as I wonder, "who do I want to, or can, I keep up with tonight." when I look over and see Mike and Dave in a debate over whose is bigger.

They were talking about hernia scars. Sometimes it sucks getting old! Though my old buddy Dave took me through 9 sub-8-minute-miles, the last of which was at 7:04 (I remember bragging about my 9 minute miles in a 2007 post.) Davo was the inspiration for Friday's song of the week.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Who Knew? I DID!

I'm getting folks from far (California) and Near (Tampa, FLA) asking, "So, AndyMan (seems that's what they call me) how do you know so much about the grand slam? I mean Stan Jensen, who makes 80 bucks off of your sorry self, he only lists 6 slammers, yet you, who doesn't make D-I-C-Squat off of it, claim that there are some 38 slammers, included the world famous Dean Karnases."

Well, I am glad you asked, see, I'm sort of into this thing. I'm sort of making it my job to be up on this. Er, also, on the Wasatch website there is a list. We haven't all paid Stan and Steve our cabbage yet (don't worry S & S, my check is on the way, gotta have the Sandhill Crane, or whatever it is, statue) but Wasatch knows who we are. Hey, check us out:

And check out a few pictures I added to yesterday's post. I have more, but these will do for now.

And S & S, here's my GS award payment:

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A Place to Start

My choice for fastest female slammer, Michelle Barton, My Buddy ;-)

Holy Guacamole Batman, there are 38 of us! Last year there were 31. What? Where? No, not at the Jon Docs annual clothing optional 5K and hookah hat dance, (that was 63) but there are 38 of us entered in the Grandslam.

I'm the only cat from Florida. Most are from California.

Check it out, I know 9 of them (they don't all know me, but I know 9)

Starting with my excellent friend, Michelle Barton. Besides me, I'm cheering harder for her than anyone. I was there for her first full 100, and I hope we are running side by side at Wasatch and snagging that crow, or Egret, or Eagle, or whatever it is. I miss you Mischa!
......Michelle Barton (aka Mischa Redblurr) Gordy and Me at WS Camp....

I believe I also put some miles in at Western States camp with her friend Rob Cowan, I have his picture around here somewhere.

Then there are the excellent Arkansas race directors Stan and Chrissy Ferguson.

Now here's a big name, (Gawd, I hope he aint writin' a book about this, it's wreck my deal, or pleeeese, pleeese, keep it to a short article, a man can only spend so much money!) Dean Karnasas. Karno, throw a brother a bone man. I don't want to do it, but if you are writing a book about this, I'll throw your rich butt off of a mountain. It'll have to be at Leadville, because that's an out and back course, and the man is way too fast for me to catch, I'll have to set up a Karno trap. Maybe a snare with a two-million dollar bill as bait, yeah, that's the ticket.
Me: I rock!

Fred Pollard- I ran Rocky Raccoon with he and Michelle and Xy and Leigh back in 2006. Fred and I shared a room, he didn't snore too much. Good luck Fred, you are a gentleman (but could you please throw Karno off of cliff for me, it might look too obvious if I did it. I mean I like Dean, I really do, but....)

Karsten Solheim: Did a post on him last year. Karsten son of Karsten founder of Ping. Old dude, keeps on chugging like a frat boy at a Sewanee kegger!

Xy Weiss- The Dirty Girl her self. I love Chrissy Weiss. She always makes me feel good when I see her. She's generous (1/2 my running friends are in DG Gaiters free of charge thanks to Chrissy), she's a great runner, and she puts the bad guys in the slam (not in my slam, but in the jug, in the greybar hotel, sends them up way up the river!)
I'm going to improve this post over the ensuing days, dig up and post pictures, so keep looking back to see pictures of my friends/bastards that want to take my trophy or steal my book deal!

Hey, best of luck to every one of them, even Karno, and the other 29 (but aint it something, 38 will line up at Western States, and only 13 will make it, well me and 12 others, I hope, I hope, I hope!)

Monday, January 28, 2008

It Should be Noted..

That Dr. Frank Sierra did the weekend back-to-back. 21 miles on Saturday at Croom, and then a good 14 at Alafia State Park, where he did the 1/2 Marathon on a tough course, finishing just a couple of minutes behind me. He's getting in Ultra shape.

It's weird how that happens. It still intimidates me to look at going long two days in a row. Yet, I usually feel at least as good, and many times better on the second day of the two. I'll admit that a 1/2 marathon isn't that long in distance to me, (hey, gotta understand where I'm looking to go, yes, it is a long way and anyone doing it is to be proud) but the effort of a 1/2 marathon race is big.

Let me just put it this way, Dr. Frank asked me, "Can you just go out and use this for a training run without racing it?"

My, answer then, "I'll let you know."

My answer now, "Er, a, No."

I started slowly, put myself in the back of the pack. Then I was driving myself batty wondering when I could pass these wuzzy folks who were walking down the slippery (see quotables,) muddy, rooty, downhills. After about 3 miles I had my chance to pass, and I took it, zipping around. Then I didn't necessarily run that fast, but nor did I let up, and ala race mode, I didn't let anyone pass me (though 1 dude did, he was lightening and had started the race late.) So, my time wasn't great, but it was a race effort.

And I know it was a substantial effort for Frank, and I can see that he is getting ready for his 50-mile ultra in March. He'll do well, and I hope I do too. We're working at and that's a fact!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Ala"NowThat'sATrail"fia 1/2 Marathon

1/2 marathon, wimpy race.... think again! The Alafia Trail 1/2 Marathon, expertly put on by is no wimpy race.

Sure is fun though. My 1/2 marathon PR: 1:31. My Alafia 1/2 PR: 2:01. This year I ran 2:10, But:

1- The course was muddier than... well, something less muddy. One dude, whom I passed, lost his dang shoe in the mud. (check out my filthy pegs in the picture below)

2- The course has many sharp ups and downs. It is very much fun, but not fast (like me :)

3- I did run 25 w/Frank, Andrea, Julie and Candi yesterday. Also, I threw in extra mile in the Alafia race, just for the heck of it (er, I was following some clowns that went off course, I've run the race 4 times, I should have known better, the course was marked very well.)

D- Oh, yeah, and there was game night at Andrea's last night. She and Armando hosted 6 couples for wine and games (with more whine!) I must say the team of Lynne and Andy dominated. And as far as anyone else knows, we didn't cheat a bit. Much fun, but two large glasses of red wine and a 12:30 bedtime, aren't really the best ways to prepare for a race.

Hey, I 8 not whining (a little oak in there SuperDave), I had me some fun, I got my money's worth, and that aint a lie! And at the end, my just reward. A man's home is his castle, well I really live out of my car, so I guess it's my New Castle (hehe!)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

You may be Cool, but....

Oh, yeah, I'm cooler!

Found this baby while I was running on Friday am, at 4 AM, in the 'hood. Not bad, I only had to run one mile with it. Squeak, squeak, reminds me of a would be assassin, Squeaky Foam, wasn't that her name? Tried to pop a cap in my man Gerry Ford.

I'll use Squeaky for my drop at the road crossing at Croom. Hey, Bozos, pick up your trash and then (wait for it....... wait....., just a little longer......) Drop and give me 20!

Friday, January 25, 2008

My Song: #1

For the next buncha Friday's I'll be unveiling my songlist. Yours have been great, though I'm still waiting on some slackers (no names, but you you know who you are, shoot, if you are reading this, simple, you owe me a list of 10 songs, it's the duty, the tax, it's going to make me rich..... with knowledge), but I'll make an observation sometime each week as I'm running and link to a song, and BAM! New song!

Today's song:
Take the Long Way Home, Supertramp. Had tickets to see them at Tampa Stadium in high school. Bastids cancelled the first show, I was in the hospital for the second show getting that dreaded surgery on the big toe (technically, the right great toe.) Geez, mom and I trusted everybody back then, we never but two and ten thousand together and realized this cat was putting his kid through Haavaad. "You know with that lump on your toe, you may not be able to walk later in life." And the lump was back in a couple of years, and I'm running 100 miles and his kid made it through Haavaad.

Why, Take the Long Way Home? Well, that's what I did last night coming home from the first day at track practice. I was tired, I wanted to go home have me a brewski and hit the hay now! But as I was driving home, I was thinking, is my 2-mile loop really two miles? I mean I've been telling Harley that he's been running 2 miles, and I'm decent with the guesses (yeah I know, walk-run-jog and mapmyrun and USATF all have sites that will measure the distance for you) but I figured I owed it to Harley to know. Turns out that yep, it's just a tick (like .05 miles) over 2 miles. That made me feel good. Oh, don't worry, I then went home, had a calzone and a glass of Merlot (I know, what a wuss) and was in bed by 8 PM (and an old wuss!)

Take the long way Home, Part II. This morning, since I'd been asleep since 8 PM, I popped up at 3:45 and thought, hey, a run. Harley and I went for 1 mile, he didn't like the wind, then I went back out for 5 more. On my loop, I realized that I had inadvertently turned early so I merely turned around, went back to my mistake, and threw in some extra mileage. Hey, I'm not the New England unPatriots, there are no short cuts to Grand Slam Success. If I don't put in the miles, or really that plus some, I will fail. Only one "Logical Song:"

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

At My Service!

Because I'm such a nice guy, and because many of you need the service hours I have openings for all of you to work the Croom Fools 50 Mile Race on 3/22. Your service to the Florida Ultra Running Community and the Croom Fools Races satisfies the service requirement for Western States (Allen, you out there?) Vermont (June, Chris, Deborah, Tracy, Adam, the dude from Melbourne) and other races.

So contact me and I'll hook you up. I need trail markers (Chris, Woody, Dan?), I need packet stuffers, I need cooks (Becky, Joe), I need cleaner-uppers, I need aid station volunteers.

Cool, it'll be a Par-Tay!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Vermont is Off and I'm On!

Well, today, January 22, and I have sent in my final Grand Slam application. If it wasn't official already, I'm in the slammer fo' sho' now. Now, I just have to decide, do I give the GS Award people my 80 quid? If I don't hit the lottery at Wasatch I have no choice, they get my buckaroos. If I do get in Wasatch through the front door then I can go stealth if I like. Regardless, I'll probably send in my cash in over there to them guys what are taking people's money even though 2 out of three ofthemdon'tgetsqauat.

As for Vermont, well, they added a 100K. I hope that means some of my Florida folks can commit to it (Candi, Julie, Andrea, Dan, Jon, Beckz, Woody), I mean if on race day you don't feel like doing the American Hunert Miles, you can switch to the metric 100K jobby and still get in a great run in a beautiful locale! One drawback, due to the popularity of the 100K, the race is filling up fast. So, you probably only have till 3/1 to make up your mind. Traditionally the race does not fill up at all, but the 100K is..... well, 38 miles shorter, hence more popular.

I'm in, Wedge is in, Tracy and Adam are in. Yall come, it'll be a Par-Tay!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Handy Potter Day or Andy Motter, or Something

Hermandy Granger

Somedays I just love my job! Opps, Gotta go!

You're Not Getting Older, You're Getting HOTTER!

Well, er, yeah, you are getting older, but that isn't necessarily the reason you're having a bad day.

Take it from Harley (as long as it isn't food, that would be a bad idea!) we ran 2 miles today and he was greased lightening! He was quicker than I've seen him, ever. We were around our loop before I could say, Grand Slam!" When we ran on Thursday, I was dragging him around for 1/2 the distance of this mornings jaunt.

Hey, Harley, what gives?

Harley says, "Woof!" which I take to mean, "Well, surrogate owner, the difference is this morning it is about 46 degrees out and Thursday you took me out of the cool house and made me run in 75 degrees and humidity. I'm freaking 10 years old, which is 70 in dumba@@ years, and get me bone right after you Drop and give me 20!"

Oh, I see, when it's hot an humid, we don't run as well. Yeah I see it now, but come June as I'm fine tuning for States I will have forgotten this lesson. I'll be months in to the heat, and I'll have forgotten that even my 10 year old dog can still run well in the cool, crisp air. When I start whining, someone please remind me that I can probably still run pretty well in cooler weather. Harley, what a great teacher!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Life in the Fred Lane!

New MUSIC! I NEED NEW MUSIC! Yes my (thank you Apple) I-Pod holds more than 1000 songs, but guess what, 9-Hunert of them are my same old songs!

So here's the deal:

You guys all make play-lists for me of 9 songs that you would want to run to, and one funny song you just think I need. Then I'll download them and put them on mine. I promise you I will use these at Western States, and that I will not fast forward past them. If 10 of you think that I should have Jingle Bell Rock, I'll put Jingle Bell Rock on my play-list 10 times.

If I was making this list up for you, I'd have:
Donna the Buffalo- Tides of Time
Johnny Cash- My Own Personal Jesus
Tracy Chapman- Revolution
Bruce Springsteen- Born to Run
The Duhks- Annabel
The Knitters- Wrecking Ball
KD Lange- Hallelujah
Laura Love- Sometimes Davy Wins
Dixie Chicks- Not Ready to Make Nice

And My funny song, this edges out, "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,"

Fred Lane- The French Toast Man.

As a taster of the great work of Fred Lane, I present to you:
Select and sing along with Fred to the first verse! (RealAudio).

Ok, I'm excited about this, I really am. I can't wait to get rid of much of what I have. (Hey, feel free to submit more than one list, I don't want only 20 songs on my play-list!)

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Epic Run, Fun and Nap

After too little sleep last night, I popped up at 4:45 this AM and chucked some stuff together, hopped in my Hooptee and motored down to Croom, where I met, Becky, Joe, Julie, Woody, Dan, Adam, and Tracy for a 20 mile run.

The weather turned rainy and cold (AndyMan's kind of weather!) Now I'm not talking Colorado cold, Brooksville cold. It probably dropped into the mid-60's. Julie, Becky and I stayed together as the Beckster led us through through the Silver Lake Loop. She has learned it well, no wrong turns and perfect pacing.

After Silver Lake, we started seeing very many hiker/campers who came to us from the greater Orlando area. Even though they came on church bus, they still seemed pretty nice. Evangelicals just get up there beside me. My God's better than your God, and if you don't like him we're going to have to kill you. Chill out! Religion isn't special if you have to force it on people, why don't some people get that? After the church folks we saw some old people hiking the trail, that was cool, go oldsters! All in all, it was the busiest I've ever seen the trail with hikers, and it was not a nice day.

After our run, we cooked out, (check us out on the Below.) We had fun (thanks to Joe, pictured by the grill, for driving all the way to the store that did have coals, since yours truly ducked up his one job and went to a store that had the nerve to be out of coals, schmitz! I shoulda phoned ahead! I better Drop and Give Myself 20!) And one more thing, it was so nice to have the Godfather of Croom, Dan Miller back out Cooking out with us, Dan is solo in the chair on the left. Any way, Dan, I know you never left, but welcome the hell back anyway!

Quickie cookieoutie, then I managed to stay awake long enough to drive home, where I proceeded to have one of those epic naps. I fell asleep at about 1:45 PM, when I woke up it was one of those:

Man, what time is it?
Am I late for work?
Why isn't it dark?

Then the brain tells the body:
It's 3:30 PM.
No, work isn't till Tuesday.
Ok, It's not generally dark at 3:30, no eclipse today!

All in all, a good day. If you stayed home, Drop and give me 20! Now off to the movies, I may even get butter on my popcorn!
Fun Post Coming Tomorrow. AllI'msayingisstartthinkingaboutyourfavoriterunningsongs!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Tick Tock, the Mouse Ran up the O'Clock!

Ok, man, oh wow. So here I go, Alarm goes off, no scratch that, I woke up before the alarm.

The weather, it was Ok. I knew I had to run. I want to hit about 65 miles this week, it's not a hard number, but I do want to go over 60, I have a plan to get up to 100 miles per week by April. Anyway, I figure I'll run with Harley for 1-Mile then do 4 solo, that'll put me up to 26, then I can go 21 and 15 this weekend for 62, it aint 65, but it's close enough.

So, I leave the house at 5 AM, I take Harley for his one (too warm for him, he was draggin' paw) and I go inside to feed him and pick up my I-Pod, well, It's 5:15, I don't have time for 4 more. See, I had my first Track meeting after school, and then ran, and then I was too tired to grade all of my papers. So, shoot, I've got to finish grading papers before school. Well, I am already dressed to run, I've got a thin sheen of sweat going so I have to run some more. Well, I go for 2 more smokin' fast miles, get home grade as many papers as I can, and I reckon I'll have to do the other two or three before I go to the game tonight, ah crap, no can do, I have to take Ali to dance. Geez, this is going to be hard, running all these miles coaching track AND REMEMBERING that I'm a dad!

Don't waste time, for time is all we have! Shoot, no more Free Cell on the computer, no more Free Rice on the computer, no more Free Time, No more Free DumDum! I'm in the Slam!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Scootah Story

Yeah thanks Big Bob,

Ok, here's the Big Bob, unedited version:

Here is the “Scooter” incident as passed on through oral tradition some twenty plus years after the incident. Like the bible, were not going to let facts get in the way of a good story. After an exhaustive workout regimen the included a near drowning experience in the lap pool, “Big Bob” Calder and the “AndyMan” Mathews decided to partake in a ritualistic re-hydration/ carbo-loading ceremony at the local health food establishment across the street from Bally’s Health & Fatness center on Hillsborough Blvd. more commonly referred to as “Hooters”. After swilling back some of their finest whatever-is-on-sale lagers, a group of steroid infused body builder types at an adjacent table took it upon themselves to extend some southern hospitality and introduce themselves and inform us that we were requested to meet their Grand PuBa. Who else was sitting there but Steve Courson (See attached S.P.C.A. biased article), formerly of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. For anyone who has ever had the pleasure of experiencing first hand the sarcastic wit and charm of the AndyMan, you will appreciate what I am about to tell you. The Grand PuBa extended his mighty paw in a Schwarzenegger like move and in a testosterone infused voice said “hi, I’m Steve Courson”. The AndyMan reciprocated by extending him his own hand in what can only be described as the “dead fish handshake” and said “Hiya, I’m Scooter. Nice to meet ya”. (At this point, think of a young Opie Taylor in a tank top and nylon running shorts). I wasn’t sure if we were going to get our asses kicked at that point, but a blank stare of uneasiness came over the PuBa whereby he sat back down and kept to himself. Perhaps he was just intimidated. We will never know.

Allow me to retort back in response:

Bob's version is true, but it doesn't tell the whole story. Steve Courson was hitting on me, and I was scared. He sent his "Mini Me" flunky to do some recon work. "Mini" says, hey my friend Steve wants to meet you. And I'm like "Whatever Dude." He says, "He wants to meet you now!" and I look over his shoulder and here is this behemoth that I'd just seen on the Today Show talking about steroids and being blackballed from the NFL for admitting to use them, and I know it's Steve Courson. Well not being as enamoured with fame as "Mini" I'm thinking, "OK, what can I say to make Steve Courson not want to take me home and make me his man servant?" So, noticing that "Mini Me" is still twice my size and figuring that Steve wants somebody that will put up a fight; So, I answer his, "Hi My Name's Steve." by doing my best Milquetoast, and stick out a limp mitt and give him the old, "Hi, I'm Andy, but everybody calls me Scooter. You can call me Scooter." That's when he busts out the, "Nice to meet cha Scootah." Yeah, I was scootah for a few years, till Bob moved to S. Florida anyway.

Interesting aside, Steve Courson got so drunk that night (probably distraught because I rebuffed him) that he ended up ripping off his shirt and being asked to leave Hooters.

I swear it's a true story. The story has an interesting and sad post script. Many of you know that in 2002 I fell out of the very tree I was trying to cut down with a chain saw. The same tree then landed on top of me and I was air flighted to the hospital where I underwent about 6 hours of surgery on my left arm. Check out the fate of Steve Courson below from AST Sports Science blog :

Former NFL player and steroid user turned anti-steroid crusader dies in freak accident Steve Courson died today when a tree he was cutting down fell on him.
Officials say it appeared he was trying to prevent the tree from falling on his dog, a Labrador retriever.Courson played in the NFL for 8 years. Six with the Pittsburgh Steelers and two years with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He retired in 1985 with a heart condition he blamed on his years of steroid use. At one time he was on a list for a heart transplant but reversed his condition with diet and exercise. He became a staunch advocate and speaker against steroids.

Is that unbelievable? Geez, and I could have been Mrs. Steve Courson!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Mad Slam: The Rest of the Story

Crazy Crap I've Copped whilst Running: Mad Lib #68

Last night as the Beckster and I were flying (jogging slowly) around Carrollwood, I looked to my left on this well kept suburban street and laying right there is 1.__A Home Pregnancy Test_. Imagine my surprise! Why it reminded me of the time I was running through the woods and saw 2.__Dan & Woody slurping beers__ as I stopped to 3.__Pee_____.

Of all the crazy things I have found or seen nothing4. _Tops, beats, or was as useful to me as_ the time that I found 5.__two Porn magazines___ just outside of 6. _the Park__ by my house.

It doesn't just happen on training runs either. There was the time in Arkansas when I almost tripped over 7. _A Tarantula_ and the time in Vermont when I went chasing after a 8._A $1 Bill attached to some fishing line, complete with fisherperson_, right after I picked up 9. _a 12-Pack of Bud in the woods_.

Still none of that compares with the time my old friend Eric found the picture of 10. _two hot and naked young ladies making out (it was a Polaroid, which was neat)_ when were running the hills in San Antonio!

And, I swear it's a true story! Actual Answers later in the week. A Chili's Gift card to SuperDave for coming closest!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Ah Schmitz! I'm a Blogger Now

Oh, great thanks Chase! I reckon, guess, spose, surmise, guesstimate that I'm a geekin' blogger now! Just because Chase had to take a job watching TV (which he quit by the way, dude used to get paid to eat junk food and watch TV, and he quit, sure he had to live in Zepherhills, but at least he was close to the Monkey Exchange, place rocks!) and they made him start a blog.

Ok, he quit the job, but kept the blog, what up? Now, I have posted 163 items, 914 pictures, hunerts of comments, and that's on my own blog.

I have also read about Star Power, where imagine my disappointment to find out that Andrea doesn't really have a sister! (hey, any cousins?)

Sometimes I lurk on the "Check out this Liberal" site. There I learned that not all Americans have health care. I don't believe that though, if our country has enough money to invade and occupy more than one distant sovereign country at a time, then surely they have enough money to provide health care for everyone at home. I mean our leaders care enough to think of us first.... right?

From Dr. Mags I learned that Flogging Molly will be at Janus in March (any takers?) I also learned that surveys can teach you lots of stuff (I'd probably be a pomegranate, but I like saying kumquat.)

My best Bro SuperDave started a blog. He's good with signs, signs, everywhere signs. And I do take issue with one thing though, show me a Manning that doesn't look like Gomer Pyle, now there's the real trick!

I may have pissed off Stan Jensen, but I still think that was Chase messing with me.

And of course, I've learned lots of stuff from my mentor, Chase himself. We met Chopper, and now we have all hardened up. It snows in Denver, and they don't plow the streets. Chase and Saralee can take public transportation and drink, and get home. (hey Pam, Public Transportation, remember it was your hot button, remember? Geez, I wanna drink and not have to drive, and still have my car the next day!)

Hookey Dokey, I never thought I'd be a blogger. Bloggers aren't jocks, I'm a jock, or at least as Arlene says, I'm an athletic supporter! Hey anyone up for some DnD later, I've got another 2 hunert and thirdy sompin' days at least!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Mr.Toad's Wild Run

Well, I did my 60 mile week. Yipeekaiaye!

Here's how it broke down:

Ran 44 going in to Sunday, with 21 of that coming on Saturday. Had to do 16 on Sunday, everything on me felt good no problem.

Started out at 6:48 AM at Morris Bridge Park in East Tampa. Ran a rapid 8, then hopped into the car and drove to Walt Didney World and found a free parking space on the side of the road right at the 22 mile mark. 3:20 showed on the clock, so I would be seeing competitors running 4 hour and over marathons. This fit with most of my friends running the race, so I was excited at the prospect of jogging a few miles with some of my buds.

First I figured would be Bryan Singletary, then I figured Julie who was doing the Goofy challenge, 1/2 marathon yesterday and marathon today. Also, I figured to see Barbara, my ex- of whom I am so proud for starting this running journey.

Out of that group I only saw Bryan. I ran down a mile from my car and picked up Bryan at the 21 mile mark and ran to about 23 with him. His training was hampered by a couple of injuries, but he was toughing it out.

After running two with Bryan I was treated to a bonus when I saw Ron Balow and the lovely Paula Cronin. They complained about not doing well, but they were zipping past everyone around them, and doing so with ease. I think they were just smart and started slowly on this hot and muggy day.

One more time I trotted back to my perch at the 21 mile mark and then came fellow Leto Falcon and groovy Luna Chick, Pam Dickens, we did 1/2 mile together and she told me to look out for her husband, whom she had left in the dust 1/2 mile back. As I jogged back to my stand, I did in fact see Billy and wished him well, though he didn't appear to want any company. Next came long and lean Caryl Albergo. Caryl runs a couple of marathons every year and works and is a mom, OF EIGHT! So, don't complain, Caroy can do it, so can we (of course Carol robbed a bank, an armored car, and few liquor stores along the way, because I currently have 3 of her passel in Catholic high school, and that is not free..... although, you'd think it was with what they pay me.. there it is Chase).

Anyway, I never did see Barbara, though she finished in a very respectable 5:48. I never did see Julie, though she was the fastest of the crew in 4:15, despite running the 1/2 marathon the day before, way to go Julie!

Julie: 4:15
Bryan: 5:13
Ron and Paula 5:13
Pam & Bill: 5:46 (he caught and passed her at the end)
Barbara- 5:48 1st one ever!
Caryl: 6:32 (not bad, she did the 1/2 on Saturday and still beat her goal)

I have run the Disney Marathon 5 times, it sucks, don't do it! But if one of your sucker friends is doing it, or any marathon, go out and run a few miles with them, that was a lot of fun, and my car didn't even get towed! Yippeekaiaye!

PS, Sad news from the Magic Kingdom. Seems like Mickey and Mini have split. Don't know for sure the reason, there is the theory that Mini was caught in a compromising situation with Pinocchio and heard yelling, lie you son of a gun, lie! Personally I don't believe it, I just think she's f'ing Goofy!

Here I Am, The Big Sucker!

Like I said, Andy Mathews is a big time sucker! See.....

Why am I a sucker? Shoot, I don't know, I just am, but here's the latest evidence. I am the new head track coach at Tampa Catholic High School. I didn't want to do it. Jeez, I don't mind being an assistant, that's actually kind of fun, but paper work, arranging transportation, scheduling meets, that stuff blows chunks.

But, I am a tough negotiator! I told them I wanted $9,000 as a supplement (as I got 500 for Cross Country I was not hopeful.)

TC countered with ..... No, we'll get someone else.

I then went down to $8800, they said, no we'll get someone else.

Well the joke was on them, the other guy wouldn't do it, so they came back to me.

I reiterated my demand, 9K!

No Way!

Er, Ok, what will you give me?


Well try to get me more, and I'll call an organizational meeting for next week.

Andy Mathews is a big time sucker (but at least we have a brand new synthetic track!)

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Big Sucker

Coming later today: Andy Mathews is a Big Time Sucker!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Amazing Exercise Regime, Adds 100's of Pounds in Seconds!

Just got the picture back from my personal trainer (on my left) at Bally's. Has my new exercise regime been working? I'll report you decide:
Cool, I won't have to go over the boulders at Western States, I can just pitch them out of the way!

Howling at the Moon

I read on-line that Rich Rodriquez, former top dog footballer at West VA, now head man in charge of football at Michigan University says that the same Mountaineer fans that loved him are now howling at him, even threatening the life of he and his family.

Could these be the howlers about whom he speaks?

The University of West Virginia Mountaineers

Hey, I'd be PO'd too if I were a WVU fan (mostly because it would mean association with West Virginia, only two good things to come out of W.VA are Interstate 24..... and ..... and.... like I said, there's only one good thing to ever come out of W.VA), I mean losing your coach to some Northern school, but to threaten a man? I mean egg his house, smash his mailbox (don't really) but to threaten a man and his family? Hey WVU fans, Drop and give me 20! Losers!!!!

Special thanks to My Friend Amy for sending over the picture. The picture also came with a question: How do mountains hear? I do not know the answer.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Since Ultras Aren't Expensive Enough...

Since Ultras aren't expensive enough; I give you the Grand Slam.... Award.

Great little scam this dude has cooked up the fine folks at Wasatch. Ok, to be guaranteed acceptance into Wasatch (if you don't get in the the Feb. 2 Lottery), you have to sign up for the Slam and finish the first three races of the Slam. June 28, Western States (60% finish rate), July 19, Vermont (70% finish rate), August 16, Leadville (40% finish rate), September 6, Wasatch (65% finish rate). Finish Rate for the Slam- 30%

From the Wasatch Front 100 Webstie:

If you indicated on your application you are planning on running the grand slam, and your name is not drawn during our runner selection process in February, the race committee will hold your application and entry fee.

You will be allowed to run the 2008 Wasatch 100 if you satisfy the following requirements:
1) Grand Slam hopefuls must apply for the Wasatch Front 100 Mile Endurance Run in a timely manner as do all other entrants. Applications not postmarked during the specified application period will be returned to sender.
2) You must also apply to the Grand Slam through Steve Baugh in a timely manner.
3) You must successfully complete the first three races in the grand slam.
4) Your completed trail work form for the Wasatch 100 must be postmarked no later than the August 18th deadline.

If you do not satisfy all of these conditions your application will be denied and your entry fee will be returned to you.

From the Grand Slam Award Website:

In order to be eligible for the award and official recognition, registration must be received by June 25, 2008. Registration fee is $80 (which covers finishers awards). Refunds prior to June 25th will be subject to a $10 processing fee. No refunds after June 25th. Send signed registration form and fee to:
Grand Slam of Ultrarunning
796 South 980 East
Pleasant Grove, UT 84062-9531

Ok, so here's the rub: I am happy with Wasatch, it's cool to allow someone to pursue a special dream, and hey, if you don't finish any one of the three races if you got in via the slam, you get your dough back. But these GS Award people are making a killing! To guarantee to get in to Wasatch you have to sign up, that's $80. And you have to sign up before the 1st race of the Slam. Western States isn't until June 28th, yeah they need your money by.... June 25. And guess what, no refunds after.... June 25! Can you wait to see if we at least finish the first race? No! You pay now, and there's a 66.67% chance you just paid for NOTHING!

Steve Baugh and the Grand Slam Awards People take a page out of Meatloaf's songbook.

Two Out of Three (pure profit baby!) Aint Bad!

Thanks a lot Grand Slam Award People, Drop and give me 20! Losers!! (I hope it's a nice eagle though)

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

NCAA; Les than the Best

Here he is .........

The Man with the worst name in ULTRARUNNING, LES MILES!

More happy for Les, he's not an ultrarunner, rather he is the head coach of the, cough, cough, "National Champion" LSU Bengal Tigers. Yeah, they only lost two games, but still national champions. Did they win in the playoffs, well no. See, the NCAA, they really just guess who should play, and then they play. There is talk of a lottery to determine who plays for next year's national championship. Hey, but none of that is Les' fault; more fault to the NCAA, losers that they are.

Hey NCAA, drop and give me 20, losers!

Speaking of losers, I guess "Revenge Against the Tree" Andy OSU'd Big-Time (had the early lead and folded like a cheap lawn chair) against "Arkansas" Andy (Shoe covers and all Arlene). So, we don't have to see Prego-Andy no mo'. I'll miss him, but not that much.

Monday, January 7, 2008

2 Horses 1 Race

And then there were two....
Here are the only two that can win with 5 votes to go. Choose your "Tree Pusher" or your "Arknasas, I done run 100 miles and Aint Showered" version of AndyMan. I don't really care.

This week, I may run my first 60 mile week in forever, we'll see. I'm feeling pretty well. We'll see.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Sour Grapes Report

NY Football Giants Advance due to stellar play by their defense and an uncharacteristically good game by characteristically bad Eli "Wo" Manning.

But life wasn't all bad:
Just some of my sweet, er I mean suite mates for the game. From Left to right, Kim, Donna and Rhonda.

And let's contrast this to your average Giants' fan (U-G-L-Y, you Aint got no Alibi!)
Yeah, why do you think they are called the Giants? These weren't the ugliest fans, they were the ugliest anythings! Trucks, Turtles, you name it, they beat it for ugly. Hey, Giants, save the money from StubHub and, and, .... never mind, you can't fix that much ugly. Shoot, you guys could make a Raider fan take throw up in his mouth. I'm not saying, I'm just saying we have definitely answered Clara Peller's question:
We have found the beef! And it's name is Giant Fan!

Here I Will Be

Was that really good for anybody? I didn't think so! Now, to get rid of this, "Before I started working out, I used to go around rubbing my belly, singing, 'Havin' your baby, what a wonderful way to show that I love you," version of Andy, we need to replace him with by scaring up 25 measly votes for a new Andy (you gotta know that I didn't want to pull out this card).

Hey, and it's easy to vote:

1. Just pick and click any Andy (pictures on the 1-2 Buckle your Shoe report)

2. Anyone can do it, er, provided that that particular computer hasn't already voted.

3. Even if you've never posted a comment, and have no intention of posting a comment.

4. You can vote more than once (it's sorta like being a Republican in Florida) as long as the votes are cast from different machines (Hey ZeldaSuePhyllisDexterMyer, mind if I, knew you wouldn't mind, so I used your computer to check I got people traveling?! And BAM! you're on That's a good ruse,)

5. Buy one or two new computers and vote from there. After all that's a pretty bad picture and no one should have to see it, do it for the public air waves, do it for your kids, but do it!

Now as an aside, I wished the Bucs had beaten the Giants that day, I wished they'd beat 'em and won, but I made no predictions on it, it's just a hope. I wished Star had called the players, and said, "by trying to win, you've already said that you are going to lose." And Ronde says, "Well, what should we do Star?" And Star says, "Hey, Tiki's brother, repeat after me, We are GOING to go out and jump on those GiAINTS like Britnay on a bottle of Jack Black. We're gonna kick 'em like Tom Dempsey with bad intentions, and we're gonna win and send them home with no supper! Now drop and give me 20!"

The Bucs best hope, Ronde calls for a session with Star pschobablist, Andrea! (I had to attach a more recent picture of Andrea, this was actually during our last trail run, but she asked that I take the other one off of the web, she actually looked very cute in the other, but it didn't edit well, this one edited better)