Monday, September 15, 2008

Sabby, Steroids and Smirnoff, a Deadly Mix!



Now, I'm not one to blame others (unless like in this case, it's their fault!) but the dude should have known.

Well, really it wasn't as much his fault. It was the lax security guard that let me smuggle in a water bottle filled with vodka, it was his fault. Oh, and even more it was that second year Rookie, Sabby Piscatelli's fault. Sabby, what are you thinking? Tight game, you pick up a fumble, that's good. That seals the game, unless of course you forward lateral the ball to no one and the other team picks it up, and goes down the field and scores a few plays later and now it's "Go-Time!" Sabby.... Go sit on the bench for two games, learn from someone that's not a tard, and come back in. You're young, you can still learn. Unlike the yahoo in the men's room, he's old he'll never learn, hence the roid rage...

I'm not proud of this, but the dude standing next to me in the men's room, well, he thought Sabby could do no wrong because Ernest Graham bailed out the Bucs and we won anyway. This dude was drunker than me, older than me, dumber than me, smaller than me, and no way he was roided up like Barry and Me! Anyway, he should thank God that I was the only person in Buccaneer stadium with an Auburn Cross Country shirt on (I was, as they say, easily identifiable) or his head may have been just a spot on the wall above the urinal in the South Endzone. Ah, who am I kidding, it would have been. I almost jacked him in spite of my, "Yeah, I saw it all, guy was wearing an AU CC shirt, you know they won their football game 3-2, was it a wild pitch or a two-run single that won it for 'em, he smashed this fool's head, guy deserved it, but yeah, it was him." status.

But, better senses prevailed, I left, called my bro and we laughed about it. Anyway, Sabby, hang on to the darn ball, and you rent-a-cops, do your darn job, I wasn't even hiding that bottle, I can't be expected to be a saint all the time!!

10 comments:

superdave524 said...

We are our father's children, afterall. Glad you didn't deck the dude; though, clearly, he had it comin' to him.

AndyMan said...

I'll bet some less recognizable dude gave him his comeuppins! Somebody in a Buc's jersey, or your average W-B undershirt.

Chase Squires said...

This explains a lot, next time we're on a run and you start flipping off the volunteers, I'm checking your water bottle for vodka!

AndyMan said...

It's the mix Chaser, the mix. Sabby = Global Warming, Steroids = obnoxious kids lying about my standing in the race, and the Vodka, well, it's still vodka.

Star said...

I've heard of Tequila having that effect, but never Vodka.

Dr. OB said...

How many times have I told you to avoid men's rooms? That's where all the dicks hang out...

:@)

*putting a log in the fireplace because it's 56 degrees in Alabama...

AndyMan said...

Hey, it's a post from Dr. OB! He's the one that's getting the Good Doctor and I tickets for the Auburn v. Alabama game in November!
Thanks OB, thanks!

superdave524 said...

Two thumbs up for Dr. OB! (Yeah, he's never heard THAT one before).

Dr. OB said...

Andy seems to be laboring under the delusion that I actually have the ability to procure Bama vs. AU tickets. Will someone tell Andy that in Alabama people revere those tickets more than their marriages (that's a TRUE story). In Alabama, football=religion and Bear Bryant=God. Take that Pope Benedict

AndyMan said...

And God says, "I don't know Bear, why did we tell them to run right instead of kicking the field goal?"