Friday, September 12, 2008

Song of the Weak, I went I went!

Thanks SuperDave for the song of the weak!
Well, our man Chase was 100% right about what Doctor Feelgood would tell me.

Dr. (after taking one look at my feet and starting to touch them, then going back and putting on gloves, good move Doc.) "Hey, your feet look pretty bad. Looks like you've got some fungus under this toenail."
Me: "Don't worry about the toenails, they are gone anyway."
Dr: "So why are you here?"
Me: "See those crutches over there? Those are mine. I can't put any weight on my left foot."
Dr: "Ok, how did this happen?"
Me; "I run up to 100 miles at a time."
Dr: "You shouldn't run too much. Take it easy till it's better."
Me: "You don't see many ultrarunners do you?"
Dr: "We have a couple of patients that run marathons."
Me: "Well that's the same thing.... divided by 4 anyway."

Yeah, I'm getting an X-Ray this weekend, and I'll see the foot guy, but hey, it's feeling better already, I'll probably be off the crutches by .... What time is it?


Star said...

Speaking of toenails...I saw an older woman yesterday who would put your toenail fungus to shame. I was so focused on her missing toenails that I coudn't concentrate on what she was saying.

You know, you don't need crutches to ride a bike at San Ann tomorrow...

Chase Squires said...

Guy goes to a doctor, says, "Doc, I hurt everywhere, every place on my body hurts," Doc says, "really? that's odd,"

Guy says, "yeah, look, I touch my arm here, and ... ooooh, the pain, ouch .... I touch my forehead like this, and ... ohhh, gosh that hurts ... and if I touch my foot like this .... owwwww, oh, that smarts."

Doc looks at him and then says, "Sir, you have a broken finger."

..... I'm here all week, folks. Try the veal.

The Professor said...

My doctor told me I was overweight. I said I want a second opinion. He said you're ugly too. (thanks Rodney).

Chase Squires said...

A hunter calls the doctor in a panic, "Doc, Doc, I think my buddy's dead, what should I do?"

Doc says, "First, make sure he's dead," ...

over the phone, the doc hears gunshots. Hunter comes back on the phone, "Okay, what next?"

AndyMan said...

This "Doctor" is all worried about a little fungus on my toenail, and I'm like "Doc, you're polishing the railing on the Titanic over here!"

Geez, sawbones, he tells me I have a month to live, I say, I want a second opinion, he says ok, 2 months!

kate said...

You guys are insane.

Our bodies weren't made to withstand this kind of intense exercise. How is what you do any different from people who eat themselves to death? It's simply the other extreme.

Plus yucky feet aren't hot. At all.

Like the yoga instructor who teaches my kids says: Be gentle with yourself.

superdave524 said...

Me: "Doctor, it hurts when I do this"

Doc: "Well, don't do that.

Doc: You ever had this before?

Me: yes.

Doc: Well, you got it again.