Thursday, February 19, 2009

First Time for Everything

Well, there is a first time for everything.

Today is the first time I've called in sick all school year (since the beginning of August.)

Hey, I only did it because, well, I'm sick. I average one sick day per year, here's how the last eight years have shaken out:

7 Years ago: 0 sick days
6 YA: 5 sick days (Major arm surgery, 5 days in hospital)
5 YA: 0
4 YA: 0
3 YA: 1 Sick Day (played Hooky)
2 YA: 1 Sick Day (see above)
1 YA: 1 Sick Day (See above)
This Year: 1 Sick Day, I'm sick!

8 years, that's 9 days, but 5 were because of Becky knocking me out of the tree. So, I'm a pretty healthy guy.

My secret? Cod Liver Oil!
Dollars to Doughnuts, I'll be back tomorrow!


superdave524 said...

Here's my dollar; where's my doughnut?

AndyMan said...

No SuperDave, Dollars to doughnuts is a bet. It used to be outrageous, you knew you were going to win if you'd put a dollar up against a doughnut, but now, it's about right.

Like there used to be this other hillarious joke, "What's a Buccaneer?" An mighty high price for corn!

Now, it's about right too. Shoot, if we keep making that bio-fuel, it'll be, What's a buccaneer? A helluva bargin for corn!

There more things change, the more old ladies I have to knock over the head an snatch the old purse. I know you hear me Professor!

The Professor said...

you forgot the classic joke about the lady who backed into the fan. disaster. i know you hear me superdave!

Anonymous said...

That's just like the time I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

Thanks folks...I'm here all week. Tip your waitress and buy my book.

-Dean Karnazes

Anonymous said...

Hey, I could steal Pamela Reed's purse and that slut could never catch me. You know I heard she used the subway on HER 300 mile run.

Course I don't have to steal anyone's purse because, well, I'm almost as rich as I am good looking, wait.... just sold another book it's a tie.

-Dean Karnazes

AndyMan said...

Dean don't want to argue with you or anything, but wasn't Pam Reed the 1st to run 300 miles non-stop? Didn't she do that before you?

Prof, what did happen when the lady backed into the fan? I don't know, and I'd like to .... I think.

Anonymous said...

Woooo, and Doctors are still using that Cod-Liva-Oil!

-Jerry Clower
When I was still alive, not now.

The Professor said...

aman...the punchline is in the message...i dont want to have to explain it to you.

Anonymous said...

That reminds me of the one about the runner who went to a talent agent and said that he could run 300 miles straight. The talent agent asked the guy what he calls himself.

The Aristocrats!!!!

-Dean Karnazes

AndyMan said...

Ok, I'm an idiot. Yes, Dis ass stir, I get it. Yeah, I made it into work today, but not because of the Cod-Liver-Oil, because when SuperDave and I were growing up you had to have a bone sticking out or have at least 130 degree fever for our mom to write a note. Course SuperDave and I came up with a solution for that one.... Missed the bus, oh, well, there's another one tomorrow. 15 days in a row for me one year. No note, no problem!

Now, I come to work sick, oh, I"m not that tough, I just like getting everyone else sick, it makes me chuckle :)

And Dean, are you calling yourself straight now. Congrats (but I aint buying it!)

Star said...

The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. I'm a big believer in it.

A lot of people will tell you a good phoney fever is a deadlock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office--that's worse than school.

You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then so is high school.

AndyMan said...

Yeah, but Star, Ferris was in Elementary School when I was in high school (sure he was 24, but he wouldn't meet Cameron and Sloan for 8 more years!)

Chase Squires said...

I could be the walrus, I'd still have to bum a ride.

Save Aman!!

The Professor said...

wait!!! they had busses back when you were in school????


superdave524 said...

Sorry, Professor, I was sleeping. Dis-assed-her. I like it, I love it, I want some more of it. And I know we've moved on, but I had to mention the dude that was in a wreck and lost his whole left side... he's all right now.