Oui Peeple are Knarp Shives!

Ok, I'm not the brightest star in the shed, I'll admit that, but this is a flat out cut and paste message from a wannabe Croom Racer:

Hi, I just tried to register online and it's closed. The same thing happened to me last year. Can you please help me? I wanted to run on some different trails before running Sweetwater 50k on May 30. If there's anything you can do I'd appreciate it!

Ok, honey, ok darlin', you were shut out last year, so how about you wait just as long, no maybe a bit longer, then you did last year and then try to register. I mean the dern race is less than two weeks away!I love peeple, we're so darn __________!

I'm Not Getting Older, I'm Getting

Oh, wait, I am getting older! But, I hope I'm getting smarter.

On Saturday I was running the Guana River 50K on a HOT and humid Bug infested day (no offense Bill, you put on a great race!) and after about 10 miles my foot started hurting a bit.

By 12 miles I had to back off of my already non-blistering pace due to the foot issue. By 14 miles I knew a DNF was a possibility.

When I reached the end of loop 2 at 16 miles I quickly gobbled 4 Advil and putzed around the aid station hoping the Advil would kick in. After about 10 minutes I decided I'd get back out on the trail and finish up the race. I HATE TO DNF! Only once in my life (to this point) had I voluntarily quit a race, and on that day, it was the wrong decision, that has driven me ever since.

When I got back on the trail the pain was clearly not going away, so it was time for action. I really want to pace Dr. Frank for 50 Miles at Umstead on Saturday/Sunday, finishing this 50K was not going to help me with that goal, to continue may take me out of the picture for that goal. So, I sucked it up, and walked back to the start finish and gathered my gear for the long ride home, made longer with the DNF sticking in my craw.

I did the right thing, my brain knew it, even as my emotions were hurting. I HATE to DNF, but I really hated being injured, and I'm glad I listened to the warning signs and dropped when I did.

I called my BLF on my ride home, I she said the perfect thing, "It's really ok what you did." I know being smart is almost always better than being tough, but smart has never been my thing, I guess if I plan on continuing to get older, I'd better accept that I'm going to have to get smarter. Oh joy.

Update: Today, my foot is ok. I could do a trail run, but I'm going to be smart and run in the pool this week and ice and tape daily. I've been neglecting that maintenance since it's been feeling so much better. Got to be smartz!

Jordan's Last Shot

To the right is a picture of Michael Jordan's last shot for the Chicago Bulls. Form looks good, he looks good, he was yet to come out of retirement for the second time. He was still a great player. He was yet to come back again as the average player he was when he left the game for the last time.

On Michael's second comeback from retirement, not everybody was cheering for him. Sure there were a lot of kids with 23 jerseys cheering for Michael. NBA General Manager's were cheering for him, and the Washington franchise, then Bullets now Wizards, was cheering for him. But let me assure the likes of Kobe Bryant and Kevin Garnett who had inherited the title of "NBA's Best were not cheering for him!" And today's best players LeBron James and Chris Paul sure wouldn't be cheering for Michael if made that third comeback today.

That's why I love ultra-running over every other sport. If Michael had been a runner his competitors would have been asking for training tips, swapping stories, and generally hoping he did well. To a runner, I believe we'd all like to see Ann Trason out there dominating the trails again. We'd love to see Jurek running Western States again.

In ultra-running, unlike almost every other walk of life we cheer for each other, the new cheers for the old, the old cheers for the new, and we are a family. You look in the old ultra-runner's eyes and you know they have experienced things on the trail that the average person can't believe, and can't even comprehend. The experienced ultra runner looks in the eyes of the new ultrarunner and knows that runner is about to embark on a journey that will teach them what's in their soul.

Of course Michael Jordan has lost more money betting on golf than the entire ultra community has ever made running (and yes, that includes our spokesperson, Dean Karnazes) so that may play into it. Ann Trason and Scott Jurek aren't taking food off our table or H3's out of our driveway when they show up at Vermont or Leadville. Instead they are adding to our collective experience and knowledge and we are happy to have them at whatever speed!

Just to prove how ultrarunners are different when I just googled Ann Trason's pictures the very first picture to come up was a picture with her and my good friend Michelle Barton from SoCal. I just don't see Michael or Shaq standing around in shorts at a race posing with a new basket ball player and taking a few snap shots. Ultra Runners, we really are different, in a good way!

Two of my all-time favorite ultrarunners, Michelle and Ann, they Rock!

Are You Guana? I'm Guana!

This Saturday is the Guana River 50K. It's about 1/2 way tween Jax and St. Augie. Hoping to invade my Cousin's pad for a Friday night meal and crash landing.

This will be my first organized event since I went lame back in September. I like the RD, Bill Dunn, he puts on a great race, and I'm glad he's forgiven me for holding the Fools run the same weekend as Guana last year. Sadly, I'm a slave to Easter. Since that's my Spring Break, that's when I have the Fools Run, and Easter, unlike Christmas, changes dates every year (put the reason for the season remains the same!)

Anyway, back to Bill, he is a former USATF Ultra runner of the year, like me, he's a beer drinker like me, but he's still fast, unlike me! If you're Guana go to Guana, tell Bill you said howdy and take him a brew, we race directors always appreciate that!

Bill excelled in athletics and Pabst Blue Ribbon at the U!

Well, What's up with Mr. Chicken?

Ok, I'm chicken!

I'm afraid to jump on the scale... That's right s-c-a-r-e-chicken!

I had a pizza, not a slice an a pizza, on Sunday. Yesterday I had a tiny little, healthy little lunch followed by a tiny little healthy little dinner, followed by a medium sized, unhealthy little bowl of ice cream.

I had a great excuse for not running on Sunday, I worked all day, and it was just. I have a lame excuse for not running yesterday. And I am going to run this eve with Davo and Becky, so no need to run this morn. .... but, the scale is in the other room and today's my weigh in but I'm .... chicken, you could say I'm bawking at the idea! Ha, ha, ha, get it? Bawking? No, ok, well then here I go.....

Well, not terrible, but a bad precedent, I gained a pound for the first week since Jan 6. I'm back to 182 (and a 1/2). Ok, I'm still 12.5 pounds down from the weigh in, and that's very good, but, this is not something we want as a trend.

Come on AndyMan, you can do more better. Jeez, now that yellow blob from last weeks post is back in me, and I know where it is too. Yuck!

The Turf Wars

At 6AM today Dr. Frank and I met at the "Lower Hillsbourgh Wilderness Park" http://www.swfwmd.state.fl.us/recreation/areas/lh-offroadloop.html for his last long run before he conquers the Umstead 100 mile run. Technically the park doesn't open till 7AM, but I told Frank that it would be ok, because I used to ride every trail in that park before technical was even an issue. I assured him everything would be ok (aka, I lied!)

Back in the day (an acquaintance told me he was tired of that term, and it should be retired, never did care for that dude, so....) Back in the day, we use to refer to the Lower Hillsborough Wilderness Park, simply as the Turf.

Back in the day, the Turf was a series of unmarked trails in eastern Hillsborough County predominately used by equestrians and mountain bikers, there was even one place where the main activity was growing Mary Jane, whomever was into this enterprise would place board with nails in them all around the trails to discourage us from riding on their turf, with The Turf. There were no runners out there and you needed a guide, either Jim McAvoy or Roamie would do fine, to find your way around. Eventually my other biking buddies, Gary Palmer, Lee Wentz, Tampa Ray and I got the hang of it as well and could spend an afternoon out there without getting lost.

More often than not, we would meet at "The Hole in the Fence" to start our adventures. This hole in the fence was simply a hole in a barbed wire fence on a dead end road. We would sneak our bikes through it go across the Bypass Canal and BAM! we were in the Lower Hillsborough Wilderness Park. Well, those who use that area today still refer to a popular spot to start as the "The hole in the Fence," but it isn't really a hole, it's a planned entrance with signage and real parking spots, and it's moved about 200 yards to the East just off of a major road, you don't need Jim or Roamy to find this area. One of my favorite idiosyncrasies about the old Turf, was to complete the 15 mile loop you had to cut through a narrow trail and lift your bike over a fence and ride up a hill and on Interstate 75 over a bridge, back down a hill, lift your bikes over another fence back through a narrow trail onto the dyke and BAM! You were back on the loop. Now, that's adventurous, now that's fun.

You know what those goodie-two-shoes park service people did about 10 years ago? They built a pedestrian bridge over the canal so you don't have to trespass on the Interstate anymore to complete the 15 mile loop. Some people don't know a good thing until they ruin it!

These days not only is the "HTF" as some wanna be old-timers call it, on the map, so is the entire area on a map! They have all of our little trails mapped and named and all with real signs. Shoot, if you get lost out there now, well it means you can't read a map. The trails are all groomed now too. You don't have to hop over massive logs or plough through palmetto plants to traverse the 15-mile loop. Heck you don't even have to bring water anymore! There are not one or two, but 7 places to refill water bottles in the "Lower Hillsborough Wilderness Park."

How do I feel about all of these "improvements?"

Well, I think they are great! Instead of just a place for a few dozen hard-core mountain bikers, of which I am proud to say I was one, like it was 20 years ago, our turf, is now a favorite spots for thousands of local residents to hike, bike and picnic. I see families with small children and dogs out there. Many high school and college cross country teams train out there.

Do I miss the turf? Hell yes! Am I glad they improved it and that I have to share it with the area? Hell yes! Do I wish they'd come out after 10am? Well, yes, I'm not that darn generous.

Another One's Gone, And Another One's Gone

Hey, it may not sound like a lot but,

Another One's Gone, and Another One's Gone, and Another One Bites the Dust.

Don't think too much of it? Well here's what the pound of ugly fat I lost this week looks like from the inside!

Yuck! You know?

Next stop, 170's and then I go shoppin'!

One Full Day

My BLF and I started the day on the water.

Turns out Kayak isn't just a place to buy cheap plane tickets it's also some inefficient water craft. Back in a shared a house with Johnny Docs, he'd bust out the Kayak a few times a year and he always came back smashed, aka hopped up on hops, so I was looking forward to this adventure. Well, it turns out there isn't a beer tap in those darn things, but I did find a few bottle caps from some type of "Rogue Dead Man's Ale" inside a storage compartment in the Kayak I borrowed from Johnny. That explains a lot.

Ok, bottle caps aside my BLF and I launched the sea craft around 9:30 AM at the Park by the River. We paddled north against the current for an hour (we must have gotten up near Flatwoods, I'm sure I remember passing the bat tower) then after she Literally paddled a circle around me (see Star Biking isn't the only thing I'm not afraid to suck at!) we turned around to drift back to the park. Except, as often happens, when we turned around the wind did to. There would be no drifting today! We had to paddle-paddle back passed Trout Creek, back passed the Bat Tower, back passed Sulfer-Springs, back passed Lowry Park, back passed my house (hey, Andy, how you doing?) back under the Hillsborough Bridge. Well, as often happens when I get close to the end of a workout, I start smelling the barn, and it can't be argued that I stepped up the pace and skillfully navigated my craft to the docking area before my BLF could make it shoreside (Yes, it was all skill, it had nothing to do with me latching onto the side of her Kayak and yanking turning her boat around, and then placing my barge between her and the shore. Nope, it was all skill. I'm an advanced male, I don't have to "Win." Of Course it was nice that I did :)

So, after a short nap, I was ready for the second part of the day. I called several of my FU Runner buddies and was unable to sign any one up for a trip to Croom, so at 3:45 I headed up there for a 15 - 25 mile solo run. I pulled in to the Tucker Hill parking lot at 3:40 and almost locked my keys in the car, and then almost took off without a flash light, but when I went back for the flashlight I discovered that I hadn't locked the car, good thing as I was looking at the keys sitting on the front seat. So, I grabbed the keys, snagged a flashlight and I was off like a prom dress.

I was having a conversation with myself. "So Ando, how far you want to run champ? Gee I don't know Ace, you want to do Silver Lake, that way you could make one loop out of it and refill those bottles at the campground. Nice idea Android, let's do that!"

So, with the route decided I was free to enjoy the day. Just past the hard right an movement catches my eye, was it another of the abundant armadillos I'd seen today? No, turns out at 40 + years old I spotted my first Florida Panther. The thing was cool! He just loped along like he didn't have a care in the world, and who knows maybe he didn't! I hear there are only about 100 left and I was thrilled to finally see ours that has been hanging around Croom for a little over a year. I made it to the Silver Lake Campground in under 2 hours so I decided I'd continue on the Silver Lake Loop and run 25 miles. I'd never done that portion of the trail and wanted to check it out as a possible route for this December's Croom 100 I am considering staging. The trail is beautiful, but after a mile or so gets a little hard to follow, so, after about a mile and a half on the trail I headed back and almost ran slap into two graceful deer. I was happy to see that they escaped deer season. They are such graceful creatures.

As I sped passed the campground I decided to forgo refilling the bottles, since the sun was going down and the temperature was dropping I knew I'd be fine with 1 1/2 bottles.

As I ran along the Withlacoochie River I noticed several people canoeing (seems like a much efficient craft then the kayak) and many more fishing on the banks. I love seeing people out and enjoying nature! When I left the campground behind I hit a tree filled section on the river and as I scanned the ground looking for leaves to bring my BLF, God reminded me I was looking in the wrong place for leaves. As I was running it started raining leaves! How cool is that? I stretched out my arms and let the leaves fall all over me, it was the neatest thing, I had to stop and offer up a little prayer of thanks. A Florida Panther and Leaf Shower in the same run!

As I cruised through Silver Lake and back to our big loop I considered going back on the road as total darkness would soon arrive. But I had my trusty flashlight so I figured, what the heck let's just take the loop all the way back and make it an even 25. This was not to be, 20 minutes into the run I decided it was flashlight time, and when I reached into my pack most of my flashlight came out, well all that was left of it came out. Turns out that clicking sound I'd been hearing for an hour was the batteries moving up and down. Somewhere along the way the top had worked it's way off of the light and plopped out on the ground. Oh, sure I had many more flashlights back in the car but did I bring an extra on a solo run that took me through the woods at night? Er, that would be a no! Fortunately, I knew I was close to a fire road and if I could make it that before dark turned pitch black I could negotiate the rest of the way in the dark. I took the shorter blue trail in at a quickened pace and made it to Fire Road (or is it Forest Road, I never know) 7. I made it back to Croom road as it turned very dark. And safely made it back to the car.

Two hours Kayaking, Running 22 miles. Good day. Armadillos, Florida Panther, Couple of Deer, and Leaf Shower. Ok, that's a full day.

Perhaps the Worst You Tube Ever

Chase said to me once, "Just because you can post something on You Tube, doesn't mean you should." I wish I'd never seen the one below, I don't know how I ever got it, but once you've seen it, it's like "The Ring" if you don't pass it one to someone else, I'm pretty sure you die.

Well, I've got to try to run Western States in June, so I don't wanna die, hence,you need to watch this. It really isn't THAT bad (it's worse!)

Hey Jack, Don't Be Dick

As I was "running" yesterday I felt like a has been. I aint lying. I tried to "ramp" it up a bit and run a little faster and a little farther than I had on weekly runs. Well this puppy turned into a "Weakly" run if you know what I mean.

I know, I know, It's been going so much better. I know, I know, I ran 47 just a few days ago. I know, I know, I'm still 10 pounds over last year's weight. I know, I know, it was the hottest day we've had so far in 2009. But still, I felt like a "Has Been."

Well, as I was on my 6th of the 9 miles I ran, my old buddy Bill Shatner came on my I-Pod singing the song "Has Been," and I was grousing, until the very end when he croons, "Has Been, implies failure, not so! Has been implies once was, and Might Again!"

Ok, I'll take that, and I'll give you this!

Yeah, Yeah, Whatever

Hey, it's a nice day, the kids are having fun, isn't that what it's all about?

No, it isn't. How about this, "It's a nice day, the kids are having fun, and the kids are trying their best by practicing hard! Isn't that what it's all about?"

My patience are shot (like a dentist before he extracts a tooth), with the quick-fix, diet pill, get bigger with a steroid, Wikepedia, Spark Note, text message (ok, so I like the text message) McSociety in which we live in! Good God man you want to lose weight exercise! You want to be on my track and field team come out and practice hard with the team quit screwing around, I got other stuff I can do!

Hey, Mr. Enabler father, Drop and give me 20!

Ok, I feel better.

The Aftermath (and it's not Science!)

So, what's the aftermath? Not like, "Hey I have science after math!" Rather what are the after effects of doing an all-night 47 mile run when your previous long run is 21 miles?

Well, my aftermath is like English, it's sweet and easy! Let me tell you, I went to the beach with my BLF on Saturday, after a too short nap, and the combination of kicking back in the trusty sand chair and soaking the pegs and dogs (legs and feet) in the frosty gulf, well it was just right therapy in mi libro! I'll admit that I was lousy company on Saturday night (but Chase would say that's nothing new, beat you to it slugger!).

Sunday I was tired but my body was fine. I wanted to go for a run, but why tempt fate was my thought, so I relaxed.

Yesterday I did 4 quick miles, I felt really well, no pain.

This morning another quick 4 miles, again no pain.

What I discovered last year in my quest for the slam is that it's those everyday 4 - 10 milers that are really important for me. I could do the long runs but I either wasn't healthy enough for or was too lazy to do the work during the week. Well this year, I'm going to try whatever to get that work done! I don't want to lay an egg at States.

So, far the signs are favorable, I'll keep you posted.

AndyMan
oh, yeah, lost another 2 pounds, down to 182, can see the 170's from here, that a very good thing!

How Do you Keep an Ultrarunner Occupied?

Well, we know how to keep an UltraRunner occupied for 12 hours, that's easy. Just tell them either:

1. Hey, Frank's training for his first 100 and he's never done an all-nighter. Who's in?

or:

2. Hey, it's Frank's birthday on Thursday. Who's up for running his age (47) on Friday night?

Well, in this case BOTH 1 and 2 happen to collide so we had 7 of us crazies out there from 8PM on Friday until 7AM on Saturday.

In conclusion, it's easy to keep Ultrarunner's occupied for 12 hours, no trick there, but how do you keep 4 ultrarunners occupied for 1/2 hour in the middle of their run? For that you have to get a little more creative.

You could start by parking a truck next to the dumpster in a park just east of the middle of nowhere at Midnight. You could next alert the oncoming ultrarunners not to mind your dog because, although he barks a lot, he does not bite.

"Was she talking to us?"
"She must have been, there was no one else around."
"Anybody see her dog?"
"No, must have been in the truck."

Dan was the first to notice that something was a bit hinky. I guess when you are a fireman as long as he was you've been called out to service enough "situations" to know that things aren't always as they seem.

We refilled our bottles and took in a little nutrition and proceeded to exit the park, bringing us back by the lady we later named Ethel.

As we run by she asks, "Any of you happen to have a flashlight?"
Well, as it was midnight and we were running on the trails, and we all had our headlamps on and flashlight in our hands and lit, it was kind of hard to say, "Sorry, no" and keep on running. Though that would have been the better move.

Me, the most naive of the bunch offers up, "Sure what do you need?"
"Well, when I was putting my recycling in here earlier, I lost my wedding ring, I hoped you could help me find it."
"Lost your wedding ring, well, mi flashlight es su flashlight!"
So, BAM! she has enlisted the help of four ultrarunners and their lights for 1/2 an hour or so.

Well, A2 and I are busy scanning our lights all over the ground looking for this ring, Dan's actually training his light under the dumpster still looking for the aforementioned dog, and Frank has his light angled on the a pop-top, which he advises Ethel, "Hey, you can put that on your finger as your ring."
Ethel, she's pretty sharp, "I don't even no why I bother, that piece of sh*t husband won't get off the couch and put down the PlayStation!" Still, A2 and I search.

Then my light illuminates a reindeer antler hat one might wear to the office Christmas party. And not expecting to see that, I comment, "Look a pair of reindeer antlers."
"Hey, those are my lucky antlers." says Ethel. At which point Dan turns off his light.
Then Ethel proceeds to tell us as Paul Harvey (R.I.P.) may have said, The Rest of the Story.

See Ethel wasn't always a really heavy, really out of shape dumpster-diver (see, even though she claimed to be a the dumpster making a deposit, the hundreds of aluminum cans at her feet and the dumpteresqe scratches on her legs told us a dumpster withdrawal was the more likely scenario.) See when she lived in New Jersey, before she contracted Lyme's disease, the kind that dogs get, and her Veterinarian put her on chemotherapy, the kind they use on Lupus patience, she was an athlete. Before the chemo ballooned her to over 400 pounds, Ethel won a softball scholarship to medical school. (this is where Frank turned off his light) It was there, as an athlete that she put a bug in the ear of the International Olympic Committee to include women's ice hockey as an Olympic sport. It was at this point that I remember that I didn't want to be chopped up and stuffed into that dumpster (after all I was less than 24 hours from those chicken wings, lovingly prepared by my BLF). So, we wished her luck and I mentioned that we had someone waiting for us down the road, so we had to go. Ethel still needed light to find her ring, so Dr. Frank suggested that perhaps she could pull her truck around the other side of the dumpster and shine the headlights on the area. Sadly, Ethel replied, "I can't, I have bad luck." Personally, I figured the good luck from the antlers would have counteracted that, but I guess that wasn't the case.

I wish we could have helped more, but one can only do what one can do.

Oh, the run, it was great. Frank got in his 47 birthday miles. He also got to do his first overnight run, and is in fantastic shape leading up to Umstead, he will succeed in his 100 mile quest, of that I'm sure. Dan, led the way most of the night, and ran very well, and navigated the trails at night even better. Andy B proved again what a nice and patient guy he is by sticking with us, even though he was chomping at the bit to take off and get in "some real running." And me, well, I'm pleased as punch that I was able to be out there. My long run in the last 6 months had been 21 miles. I wasn't sure if I had the endurance, the toughness, nor a healthy enough foot to hang with those guys for 21 miles let alone 47, but I made it. And some of the old instincts and habits even kicked in. I struggled most of the night, but something happened around mile 33, I started feeling good. I had to hold back the last 14 miles, I really felt good, better than I had all night. It was almost like old times, except better, because I didn't know I would ever feel like that again.

I am also happy to report that my foot and legs feel great, even a day later.

Well, that' it, I'm headed back to Nobelton to look for that ring and get some more information on Medical school that offer softball scholarships.

In the High Sierras

Tonight, yep, I'm doing something I haven't done since my birthday in September. Hey, I'll say it. I'm staying out all night long!

A few buds and I, and I think you know what I'm talking about, we're meeting up, and we aren't coming home until the sun is up. And I'm bragging about it, I don't even care if my BLF finds out! You may think that's a pretty bold statement, but, not only am I self-trustworthy (I trust myself) but er, well, I'll be in Hernando County. And I'll be in the woods. And I'll be running. And it's all Frank Sierra's fault. This cat, he wants to run all night. I figure he must be related to Humphrey Bogart or something, because Hump did a movie called "High Sierra" and to run all night and leave the beautiful Theresa at home, well he must be high! (Course, there's also Frank Jr. and the younger ones, wait, maybe he's got something with this running all night thing!)

Seriously, I'm so looking forward to it. I figure if I can get through this all-nighter than it's another huge step on my long road back.

It's March 4 Again!

Hey, It's March Forth again. I tole this story last year, I'm-O telling again now.

March Fourth, it's not just a date, it's a command!

So, do like AndyMan, go March Forth! I done marched 6 miles on this chilly March morning. But, my BLF promised me chicken wings (baked, but still yummy!!) so, I must get the body ready. I felt good really good.

Some of you may not have doubted me, but I sure did. I thought I was #28, DUNN! Or just plain Done. Now, I don't know what will happen at Western States, but I know I have a fightin' chance. As long as there is a chance then I'll March Forth!

Happy March Forth to you!

The Year of Living Negatively is Postively Back!

Last year before I started my whole slam deal, I decided I was going to be a kinder, more gentle AndyMan. The negative reinforcement was out and I rolled in the positive reinforcement.

"Come on AndyMan, you can do it!"

"You're doing great!"

"Just be the best AndyMan that you can be!"

And, simply put, it was my worst year running, ever!

So, here's a little sample from Sunday's run with A2, which by the way was my best run since the pre-injury days.

"Get your fat, M***** F*** @ss up this M******* F***** hill, you loser face, punk @ss, wussy head, jack be un-nimble, jack be unquick M***** F*******, son of a b******, c****S****, M**** F**** eat a bag of S*****. D*** H***, D**** nose, D*** with ears, pu*** @ss D*** lick, s*** face, and on and on and on."

But we ran the 50K starter loop, Silver Lake and and back, 21 miles in a shade under 3.5 hours, including breaks!

I think this may have to be the year of living negatively!

(ok, even in that sea of negativity, I still had time to circle back and scoop up a beautiful little leaf I saw on the trail. I couldn't help it, I knew my BLF would appreciate it! Oh, no, I really am a f**** F** head, wussy face, nimrod, soft, pansy @ss, pencil neck, B**** C***, candy @ss, weenie head, blah, blah, blah!)