The Scootah Story

Yeah thanks Big Bob,

Ok, here's the Big Bob, unedited version:

Here is the “Scooter” incident as passed on through oral tradition some twenty plus years after the incident. Like the bible, were not going to let facts get in the way of a good story. After an exhaustive workout regimen the included a near drowning experience in the lap pool, “Big Bob” Calder and the “AndyMan” Mathews decided to partake in a ritualistic re-hydration/ carbo-loading ceremony at the local health food establishment across the street from Bally’s Health & Fatness center on Hillsborough Blvd. more commonly referred to as “Hooters”. After swilling back some of their finest whatever-is-on-sale lagers, a group of steroid infused body builder types at an adjacent table took it upon themselves to extend some southern hospitality and introduce themselves and inform us that we were requested to meet their Grand PuBa. Who else was sitting there but Steve Courson (See attached S.P.C.A. biased article), formerly of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. For anyone who has ever had the pleasure of experiencing first hand the sarcastic wit and charm of the AndyMan, you will appreciate what I am about to tell you. The Grand PuBa extended his mighty paw in a Schwarzenegger like move and in a testosterone infused voice said “hi, I’m Steve Courson”. The AndyMan reciprocated by extending him his own hand in what can only be described as the “dead fish handshake” and said “Hiya, I’m Scooter. Nice to meet ya”. (At this point, think of a young Opie Taylor in a tank top and nylon running shorts). I wasn’t sure if we were going to get our asses kicked at that point, but a blank stare of uneasiness came over the PuBa whereby he sat back down and kept to himself. Perhaps he was just intimidated. We will never know.

Allow me to retort back in response:

Bob's version is true, but it doesn't tell the whole story. Steve Courson was hitting on me, and I was scared. He sent his "Mini Me" flunky to do some recon work. "Mini" says, hey my friend Steve wants to meet you. And I'm like "Whatever Dude." He says, "He wants to meet you now!" and I look over his shoulder and here is this behemoth that I'd just seen on the Today Show talking about steroids and being blackballed from the NFL for admitting to use them, and I know it's Steve Courson. Well not being as enamoured with fame as "Mini" I'm thinking, "OK, what can I say to make Steve Courson not want to take me home and make me his man servant?" So, noticing that "Mini Me" is still twice my size and figuring that Steve wants somebody that will put up a fight; So, I answer his, "Hi My Name's Steve." by doing my best Milquetoast, and stick out a limp mitt and give him the old, "Hi, I'm Andy, but everybody calls me Scooter. You can call me Scooter." That's when he busts out the, "Nice to meet cha Scootah." Yeah, I was scootah for a few years, till Bob moved to S. Florida anyway.

Interesting aside, Steve Courson got so drunk that night (probably distraught because I rebuffed him) that he ended up ripping off his shirt and being asked to leave Hooters.

I swear it's a true story. The story has an interesting and sad post script. Many of you know that in 2002 I fell out of the very tree I was trying to cut down with a chain saw. The same tree then landed on top of me and I was air flighted to the hospital where I underwent about 6 hours of surgery on my left arm. Check out the fate of Steve Courson below from AST Sports Science blog http://www.ast-ss.com/blog/default.asp?bm=11&by=2005 :

Former NFL player and steroid user turned anti-steroid crusader dies in freak accident Steve Courson died today when a tree he was cutting down fell on him.

Officials say it appeared he was trying to prevent the tree from falling on his dog, a Labrador retriever.Courson played in the NFL for 8 years. Six with the Pittsburgh Steelers and two years with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He retired in 1985 with a heart condition he blamed on his years of steroid use. At one time he was on a list for a heart transplant but reversed his condition with diet and exercise. He became a staunch advocate and speaker against steroids.

Is that unbelievable? Geez, and I could have been Mrs. Steve Courson!