Thursday, May 1, 2008

A Day in the Life

3 tires, one alignment, one "engine flush," one oil change = $374

Dinner for two coaches at the track banquet = $44

Knowing it's never going to get any better = Priceless.

God I love education! Like a kick in the F'ing balls!

(yeah, coach I didn't bring my wallet, can you cover me? why don't don't you just skip out on your bill like 7 of the kids did! No, No, I'll get it really, Mr. Shortarms, Mr. I really shoulda taken the Bus because My Driver's license is in my wallet, Mr. Playing me for a sap, Mr. Sees an opportunity, Mr. I got better things to do with my money, Mr. Seen me coming a mile away.)

It's my lot, I'm a sucker, I am not; however, a happy sucker just now. 4 more years and then I swear with God as my witness I will never teach or coach another kid. I'm gonna re-join the rat race.

12 comments:

Roger said...

Sounds like someone needs a hug. Or maybe an ice cold microbrew, handed to him, from someone else's cooler, after a nice long run in the Florida heat.

Mr. Matt said...

A hug a brew and 374 + 44 would do nicely!

I know I'm being a wimp Be-Atch, but everyone oncet in a while it gets up there beside me and I gotta feaking scream and kick and cry.

The Professor said...

Drop the high school gig and get into the professorial arts!!! You get more money and less work and all kinda opportunity to earn MORE money with all yer free time. Sure I have 3 jobs tight now, but for 2.5 of them I get to work in my underwear.

Roger said...

I say you make a hostile bid and buy the school. Then, once it is all yours, you fire the kids. Who needs 'em. Or...you could just find a nice "out of the way" spot, deep in the Croom forest, pitch a tent, paint your face in some camo, you know, blend in and lay low for awhile. Train hard. Eat only what you can catch, which won't be much until you lose that weight, but it'll happen. Other runners will report seeing a "strange dude out in the woods" but it'll worth it. A guy can live a long time in the woods off of 374+44.

Roger said...

Since one of my primary goals in life iss to make Andy feel better, I'll tell a story.

Last week my wife went out and bought a puppy. It was a cute little Yorkshire Terrier, 8 weeks old. She always wanted one and has been talking about getting one for at least 10 years. After 5 days of whining, barking and pooping (not to mention what the dog was doing!) she asked me to see if anyone at my office wanted it. I gave it away on day 7. The dog was $1,900, her shopping spree at PetsMart ran $260, a visit to the vet dinged me for $215, and the gas to drive to Crystal River to drop the thing off was a final $20. SO, the 7 days with our bundle of joy only cost me $2,395.

At least you got dinner...

Star said...

*Sniff-sniff* Hey do you all smell that? Someone smells burnt out, toasted, done.

Maybe you could use a break, a change, or a kick in the balls. But don't let the Prof kick ya if he's in his undies, 'cause that'd be too weird.

Chase Squires said...

Finally, Andy, you see the light, come over to the dark side ...

BTW, is the professor by any chance a stripper? I'm trying to think of people who work in their underwear ... strippers, pro wrestlers, underwear models (although maybe they aren't working in their own underwear), and ...

And today's probably not the best day to do it, but once you're here, I'll be working on getting you to move on out to Colorado ...

The Professor said...

"people who work in their underwear ... strippers, pro wrestlers, underwear models (although maybe they aren't working in their own underwear), and ..."

People who teach online courses part-time for less than reputable "universities". Basically, I get paid large sums of money to dish out degrees...a nice addition to my full-time career of getting paid small sums of money to dish out degrees.

Apparenty my soul can be purchased for $1500 per class.

Chase Squires said...

Wow, nice gig perfesser!

I'm going to take my first online class in the summer, lets hope it's as you say! :-)

Do your students know you're in your underwear?

Mr. Matt said...

Puppy Chow rants
Underwhere? Under there stories
on-line gigs
This is why I do this thing.

See, Star knows, it's the end of the school year and my students are done! They won't be quiet while I try to go over their final exam, even if I'm going, ok #22 is C (which it isn't, nope it's B) #23 is D. And then I get stuck for a bill when they skip out on the restaurant. End of the year. Very soon I'll be hiding out in Croom, Colorado, California, Vermont and parts unknown.

Grant me strength (and 374 + 44!)

Arlene said...

MWAH!

Hope that you feel better real soon!

superdave524 said...

Yeah, well, I'll buy you a beer in the Palmetto State. One. I don't make that much money either.