Thursday, July 24, 2008

Homework Assignment

Answer the following question by next Thursday:

For your birthday, your aunt gave you a Vermont maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
Winner gets a First Watch Gift card or I-tunes download.

AndyMan

19 comments:

Just me said...

Sounds like a good assignment for Chase, The Prof or Roger...

Just me said...

OR Super D - maybe he received the same gift on his birthday and has already written his thank you note.

Chase Squires said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chase Squires said...

sorry, typo in the first one ...

Dear Aunt Grace,

Thank you so much for the thoughtful gift, no one has ever given me a cock that squirts hot syrup when you pump it up and down. My hand will certainly be giving it a job every morning when I wake up stiff and ready to slather warm butter on some steaming buns. Every morning when I come in the kitchen, I will pump this cock and think of you.

Love,

Andy

Anonymous said...

How about this:

AG

WTF?

AM

Gotta love the brevity.
GatorFan

Anonymous said...

I'm certain it's a soap dispenser, to dispense frothy, aromatic soaps that I can rub across my glistening, hard body.

-- Dean Karnazes

superdave524 said...

Dear Aunt Grace-

Thanks for the syrup dispenser. I'm not really a Carolina fan, but thanks. At least it's not a book. I hate to read. Or a fish scaler. What the Hell is that? I don't fish. Anyway, I really, really tolerate it. Where'd you get it, anyway (and do you still have the receipt? No reason. Just askin')?

Cordially,

AndyMan

superdave524 said...

Dear Aunt Grace-

Thanks for the syrup dispenser. I'm not really a Carolina fan, but thanks. At least it's not a book. I hate to read. Or a fish scaler. What the Hell is that? I don't fish. Anyway, I really, really tolerate it. Where'd you get it, anyway (and do you still have the receipt? No reason. Just askin')?

Cordially,

AndyMan

Chase Squires said...

I think a fish scaler is what you weigh fish on.

Anonymous said...

There is a Dean Karnazes imposter on this site. The REAL Dean only uses one hyphen before signing his name!!!

-Dean Karnazes

Anonymous said...

Dear Aunt Bea,

Hey thanks for the Rooster, it's sweet. I accidently dropped it, and inadvertantly stepped on it, and I kicked it out the window as I went to pick it up.

Surprisingly, it's fine. I guess "You can't kill the Rooster!"

Love,
David Sedaris

ps: I'm glad you got over that whole, "Mom loves my dad, your brother, more" thing. While I understand it(in your case anyway), it's not nice to play favorites. Thanks again, and cockadoodledoo!

Arlene said...

Chase wins....I can't BEAT that!

AndyMan said...

Now Arlene,
Chase's was good, but not suddle, let's see if the Prof weighs in before we just start throwing first watch taters around. Also, that David guy was pretty good with the whole one-legged chicken thing. Let's give it a day or two.

AMan

Anonymous said...

Where IS the Prof? We've been waiting.

AndyMan said...

Hey hey, we can't expect the Prof to be spending too much time near a computer. He's got to ease back in to it, I mean it's a hard case coming back from 9 months of vacation, I feel for the guy.

The Professor said...

Chase already gave us a mouthfull about the cock. I was so choked up after reading his missive that I could just spit. I had an absolute ball trying to come up with something as good, but alas I couldn't think of anything that was nearly as tongue-in-cheek. So you're all just going to have to swallow the fact that Chase really put his head into this and clearly has better genetics in his mouth.

Sorry it took me so long to finish this, but I was a bit nervous and I had too much to drink.

Roger said...

Dear Auntie Grace,

How did you know I wanted a cock for my Birthday?

Of course, I've had others but this one is the best. From the first time I grabbed it and gave it a squeeze, it has produced the most luxourious creamy discharge. It feels so good in my hands and on my face that I just can't stop using it.

Can you please tell me where it from and if there are others like it?

With all the love that I have left.

Andy

Roger said...

Hey, Chase is good but I had to try...

AndyMan said...

Looking more and more like Gator Fan's brevity will be winning the prize!

You'd think I'd learn, regardless, yall are flat cracking me up (oh, jeez, did I just give you more ammo!)

Aint it funny how it's the posts you aren't expceting that get the most play (oh, no, more fodder)

Out!