Yesterday, district 9 track and field competition:
Old Codger from the USA T&F, "What are all these checks? It's supposed to be all 0's and X's."
Me, "I'm sorry, I guess my volunteers, the one's that gave up a day of work to be here; I guess they didn't know that."
OC, "Well somebody should have trained them better than that."
Me, "Yeah you're right, again, sorry about that. But it's pretty simple, the checks mean they made the jump, the X's mean they scratched. If you'll just think of the checks as 0's, I think we'll be fine."
OC, "And another thing, this girl cleared 6 feet and you've got her in 2nd place, why isn't she in first?"
Me, "That's a five; she cleared 5 feet, and the winner cleared 5'4"."
OC, "That looks like a 6 to me."
Me, "I was there, I saw the jump, it's a 5, and you can see that the jump before that is 4' 10"."
OC, "You teachers can't write worth a damn."
Me, "Someone remind me that I love teaching, so I don't do something stupid."
OC, "No one has to remind me that I love being retired."
Me, "You know, I think retirement is a real good place for you."
Regretfully, that is pretty much verbatim. I was a hero with the other coaches, but that official rhode my @ss all night. He was looking to DQ my kids all night. Just like life, they had to perform a little bit better just to come up to par because of me and my big mouth.
Oh, that Old Codger with the USA T & F, he's also on the board that hands out the Mountain Ultra Trailrunner of the year award. Looks like that was a one time thing for me!
Ask me if dissing him was worth it?
Funking A it was!
Now go back into retirement, but before you go get your "Early Bird Special," Drop your dentures and give me 20!