Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Quiters Don't have to Rise At 4 AM!

Winners never quit, and quitters never have to get up at 4 AM and run!


Plantars. IT Band. No Life. No Money. There's world out there. I'm hooked on the show Dexter. More time to coach. More time to promote races. I'll go do porn because, My unit is so big it won't return the president's calls.

And for so many more reasons, I QUIT!

That's right, the old Grand Slam won't have old Andy Mathews to kick around anymore.

Done! Fin-E! Ex-Post-Facto! The Slam is in the Archives!!

Take that! And while you are at it............. Take this......................................


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18 comments:

my friend Amy said...

I pity da fool.

The Professor said...

My unit is so big that when I do push-ups I'm actually pushing the Earth down.

Mr. Matt said...

It's own Zip Code

The Professor said...

It can divide by zero...

superdave524 said...

My unit is so big it won't return Spielberg's phone calls.

...so big my unit has a unit, and my unit's unit is bigger than your unit.

Mr. Matt said...

SuperD is out, he used one that's already been used.

So big it effects the tides!

The Professor said...

...so big that it has 12 moons; one of which is the Earth.

Chase Squires said...

From last night's Two and a Half Men ... "so big I can put a hat on it and ride in the HOV lane" ...

:-)

Mr. Matt said...

So big.... so, big that er, I'm going down in flames, I can't think of one, I'm out!

The Professor said...

In order to measure it you must be able to count to infinity...twice.
(That's the one that Andy meant to say)

Dr. Maguse said...

oh, i have a good one, but it's too XXX.
sorry

Mr. Matt said...

Oh, I'm sorry, I was thinking "along those lines" and I passed out due to loss of blood from the rest of my body!

superdave524 said...

Okay, ya busted me. I 'member (hee hee) a Drew Carey bit on that same thing. You might recognize a few of these:

http://www.ryanbuck.com/bigdick/drew_carey.htm

Richard Pryor did a bit on dudes bragging. Anyone remember?

The Professor said...

HA!!!! APRIL FOOLS!!! MY UNIT REALLY ISN'T THAT BIG!!!!! GOTCHA!!!!!

Mr. Matt said...

And for the rest of us: Two cats peeing off of the side of a bridge over troubled waters:
Cat One: Wooo Who, Man, that water is cold.

Cat Two: Yeah, deep too!

And April Fools, mine doesn't really have just it's own zip code, we're talking area code! You call 813 and it answers!

(not too many female of the opposite sex posts here today, notice that? It's twue, twue!)

Mr. Matt said...

So Big, I don't have to lie about it (ok, now, I'm into April Fools too )

Star said...

So its true...you guys realy do sit around and compare your junk. So typical.

Mr. Matt said...

Star, you know better than that. We don't actually do it, we just only talk about it. Plus those other guys, yeah that may be junk ........